Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting

Pamela Druckerman and her husband Simon are living in Paris with their 18-month-old daughter Bean when they decide to take a holiday. While in a small coastal town, Pamela observes that her Bean is fussy at mealtimes and difficult to convince to sit still, which makes eating at restaurants stressful and chaotic. French children seem to be calm and well-mannered, happy to eat their vegetables, yet still lively, curious, and energetic. They rarely throw tantrums and demand their parents’ attention less often.

Pamela wonders if the underlying differences between American and French styles of parenting create this contrast. She observes French parents and talks to them directly every chance she gets, finding that American parents of her generation are fraught with a variety of fears, including the possibility of making a mistake or exposing their child to danger. They tend to over-parent, which makes the experience of parenting more anxiety-inducing than it has to be. French parents seem more relaxed and rarely discipline their children; instead, they educate them on how to behave in French society, using socialization rather than punishment. Pamela sees shared basic principles of parenting among people in France, which has a high birth rate in comparison to other European countries.